To continue

With what I was saying in my dream:

No, this isn't going to be just one meaningless night.

In the morning i'm going to wake up with you in my arms,

I'm going to look into your beautiful eyes and tell you I love you.

Right

I've come to terms with it now.

I fucked my own life up.

I cant remember the last time i genuinely felt happy.

Sorry. That's a lie. Christmas 2008.

I'm pretty sure i'm just a ghost of my former self.

I miss having someone to talk to.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

I miss you so damn much.

"A place of rest I've tried to find

Aching in my heart, chaos in my mind
This place is poison to my soul
Can't take much more, I'm losing control"

Wut?

So, there I am looking for a flat to live in.

Not necessarily because I am desperate to move out.

I just like to know my options if things go tits up.

Scrolling through page after page after page of flats.

I see it.

A flat in dover is up for rent.

100 quid cheaper than before.

I want it.

I don't know why.

But I want it.

If only I could actually afford it on my own.

I'd take it.

So I applied for a job.

One that might earn enough to pay it

Doubt I'll get it.

Fingers crossed aye?

Pondering

I wonder what would happen if I turned up on your door step with a massive bunch of roses

I just want

To be able to look into someones eyes

and for my feelings to be understood

without saying a single word.

To be able to have someone look into my eyes

and to understand their feelings

without saying a single word.

Thousands of thoughts

Hundreds of memories

Every single feeling

Shared

In complete and utter silence.

I see your name. It still hurts.

True dat

Of Course...

The first time ever I saw your face, I thought the sun rose in your eyes.
And the moon and stars were the gifts you gave,
To the dark and the endless sky, my love.
And the first time ever I kissed your mouth,
I felt the earth move through my hands.
Like the trembling heart of a captive bird
That was there at my command.

And the first time ever I lay with you,
I felt your heart so close to mine.
And I know our joy would fill the earth,
And last till the end of time, my love.

The first time ever I saw your face.