This is just getting worse.

I am the most depressed I think I have ever been.  I just want to crawl away and hide in a very dark place.  No-one would miss me.  Not really.  They would all just go on with their lives as normal.

Your decision is worth waiting for, whichever it may be, because then I'll know you've actually thought about it and not made a snap decision.  Don't get me wrong.  If you do end this (which, I admit, you probably will) I will be completely and utterly annihilated.  I will be stuck where I am.

I can see no way forward from where I am now.  This place I am in, I cannot see my life progressing from here.  I'll be stuck in a dead end job, earning fuck all, and not being able to buy the things I want, not being able to save any money for the future and not being able to do the things I want.  I can see myself always being someones house mate.  Why would it be any different?  I don't feel special, I definitely do not feel like I'm worth anything, or even good at anything.  Why would anyone take any notice of me and think "that guy needs a chance, I'll give him one"

What is the fucking point.