Lost.

This is (as far as I can tell) the first time I've ever felt like this.

I'm currently sitting at my desk, at work, earning a wage.  I have a nice, modern car.  I have a nice (if broken) classic car.  I have a lush custom electric guitar.  I've customised my own bass guitar.  I have a roof over my head.  I eat well.  I exercise three times a week.  I have the starting point for a deposit on a house.  I don't owe anyone any money.

Yet I still feel like this.  I feel like I have no purpose.  Like I have achieved nothing.

I cannot decide if I am enjoying being single or not.

I enjoy being able to come and go as I please, spend my money on whatever I want and spend my time doing whatever I want, yet I miss that companionship.  I miss going home to someone who is happy to see me.  I miss having someone to tell about my day, however slow, hectic or frustrating it might have been.

I feel like if I don't get up and do something, anything, to change the course of my life, I'm going to be one of those sad, strange little men, who go home to no one and talk to themselves because they have no other choice.

The thought of that terrifies me, yet it seems oddly appealing too.